Billie Jean is NOT MY LOVER

So apparently a young woman (women?) is receiving e-mails from a handsome DJ by the name of Kevin Zolitor. Except that person is NOT ME. I'm not sure who is out there masquerading as me but it's a little frightening. And a little flattering. :-) My bank account is safe so far, and I don't think my website or anything got hacked.

And she called me at work. WEIRD.

I-sec

Well another AIESEC conference has come and gone. Honestly I can't even say how many I've been to. I. JUST. KEEP. COMING. BACK. I don't know what it is. Actually I think I do. They are the most emotionally charged experiences I have ever had, maybe the only time I really feel ALIVE. It's like an emotional rollercoaster, fueled by a twisting combination of sleep deprivation, severe nostalgia, unrequited lust, pure passion, and red bull. Nothing else in my life comes close.

Partly it's because AIESEC conferences are the only two times I cry each year, usually when Scott is playing the guitar. It's such a RELEASE, something I don't get anywhere else.

Every time I hear Scott play, I think "this the last time I will experience this." Then he plays 'lover lay down' and I burst into tears. But for some reason it happens again and again, like we share some common inescapable draw to this moment that keeps us coming back.

In a sad way, it's almost routine. Scramble to get set, opening ceremonies, party, sleep, plenary, mission/vision sessions, party, sleep, sessions, repeat. The line dance of the moment. Loud room parties and complaints. Registration nightmares. Lost and found. "not your momma." Sugarcubes that I never seem to write enough of. "this is my last conference. Really." But something keeps this routine from feeling .... routine. Each OC is different, each dealing with novel crises that I have seen countless times before they were even YUCLs.

By each closing ceremony I am so tired and delerious I pray that i can just take a 10 miniute nap. But I never do. The last's night party somehow keeps me functional and I still manage to stay up until 6.

The hotels can even all look the f*cking same but somehow it's different each time. Each conference starts with such opportunity and ends seemingly the next day.

Something's not right.

PBR me ASAP

If I want a PBR with my breakfast burrito, I should be able to.

oh-ma(donna)-god

If you happen to have heard the new Madonna CD, you know how TRANCE sounded five years ago when it had musical value.

If you haven't. GO DO IT.

mey mister dj

hip hop? i guess. i guess i'm good at it. been playing alot of it at my new gig. the other night a girl actually told me "pretty fly for a white guy". wow.

cold-hearted flake

It's -10 degrees F in Denver.

That's -23 degrees for you centigrade heads out there.

It's frickin' freezing here mister bigglesworth.

What can I do with Flashmob Computing?

"In today's world of big iron supercomputing most of us have no say in what supercomputers do. Mostly supercomputers are used for studying nuclear weapons. And if you don't like that, too bad. You have no say. You can now decide what to use a supercomputer for. So if you want to study global warming or the hole in the ozone layer you can do that with a flashmob computer. If you want to study breast cancer or AIDS, you can do that. If you want to see the effects of pollution on an animal species, you can do that. ... But most importantly, with flashmob computing you now have a say in how supercomputers are used."

"Could we convince enough people to bring their conventional computers to a single location in order to build a temporary supercomputer, one that could compete with the fastest and most expensive computers in the world? Since its inception in February of this year, the idea of FlashMob Computing transformed from a challenge to a new paradigm for enabling any group of people to pool together computing power for the purpose of working on scientific problems of interest to them. Unlike traditional supercomputers, which are expensive and not accessible to the general public, a FlashMob supercomputer is temporary, made up of ordinary computers, and is built to work on a specific problem. We set out to prove, through an elaborate experiment, that instant supercomputing is viable."


And how it was actually used to solve a previously unsolvable anthrax infection problem.

"Life...

...not our breaths...
...but our breathless moments"

fvck denver

Apparently while riding on the Caltrain from San Francisco to San Jose last night, I sent a text message to more than one person saying

fu*k denver

except I didn't censor myself.

(Sorry Connie, I think I only made it to the Bs before I passed out)


So more than one person asked me this morning why I would say such things.

I mean I do like Denver. Mostly. The weather is great, I know lots of good people, have a pretty good bead on things.

Except I realized last night that I do not belong in Denver. I belong in San Francisco. Or maybe I belong in New York. San Diego. Sevilla. Heck maybe I belong in Puducah, Kentucky or Yankton, South Dakota (well I actually have been to Yankton and I don't think it's it).

Last night in San Francisco I did all of the following things;

I randomly happened in to a bar called XYZ. Nice crowd, chill, and a DJ that played a Radiohead deep trance remix that I happen to own and think is slightly better than awesome. A DJ playing sweet music but low enough that you could talk comfortably without raising your voice. IF THIS ACTUALLY DOES HAPPEN IN DENVER, I haven't seen much of it. Denver lounge DJs seem to dominate regardless of the setting they are in. I can't say I have never done it but the restraint this guy was showing was commendable. Denvner just doesn't know how to lounge.

Struck up a converstation with some people sitting next to us at the bar and ended up chatting with them for two hours. (I'm ignoring the fact that my T&T cost 9.5 for now). Promised I would come back to visit and got a telephone number on a pack of sugar.

I then happened into the most kickass bar I have been to in a long time. This bar serves VODKA and they know their sh!t. Our bartender happened to be engaged to one of the head dudes at OM RECORDS. Which is big flippin deal. The dude came over and met me.

She said that they are selling some of their records to pay for their wedding! Damn! I wish I could have stayed because HOUSE. I was 8:30 on a THURSDAY and a sweet DJ was playing some sick-ass music including the Smiths and Depeche mode. Obscure shit. Not snobby "look at the awful 80s music that I can appreciate so much more than you." With Nelly thrown in at random.

Of all the nights i've gone out in Denver, I've maybe once or twice had a night this good, I for sure have never bumped into the folks I did last night. And in one night in SF it just all worked.

The whole scene was classy, chill, respectable. No bullsh!t. Everything was just nice. Funky design that didn't look cheap. People that didn't seem fake. Good music that meshed well with the environment. Some ridiculously good tacos at midnight. Just a step above what I'm used to.

Maybe I just know too much, know all the characters, the recycled bars that put up new paint and light fixtures, morph a one- or two-syllable word into a trendy moniker, and raise the drink prices a buck.

Maybe I'm just getting too old for this sh!t. Friggin 95% of my high school class has popped out kids already. But I think that I'm just in the wrong place.


I need to move and soon. Unfortunately I've made some bad choices and don't have the resorces to be able to pick up and move right now. But for the right opportunity I'm not above couch surfing for a while.

And it's not really about barhopping or clubbing. Just another manifestation of the rut that I am slowly realizing.

WILL DJ AND/OR ENGINEER FOR FOOD AND/OR VODKA.

Bitter Re-you-nion

Last Saturday I attended a reunion of an instituton I had the privelege of being associated with some time ago.

Before I attended, I thought "You know, MY reunion will be different. MY class was above the typical, we were small, we were intimate, we were ALL BUDS. Well that's how I thought I remembered it.

But you know what? It was just like in the movies. The same cliques that hung out in high school clung together, even though most of us in the ten years since we've seen each other last have probably changed enough that the associations that drew them together are completely irrelevant. Most of them really couldn't care less that I was there. I don't care about a lot of them any more than I did in high school, and many of them less, so I guess I can't blame them.

It's just so ARBITRARY. Just becuase we were forced to spend four (or twelve) years together just because our parents happened to have jobs in the same area, we are somehow supposed to bond and become lifelong freinds. That's such bullshit. In the last three years I have only talked to one of my friends from school. I really have no interest in going to my next one. They are all just going to be uglier, fatter, have less hair and more kids that they can't help but show pictures of to anyone who happened to make eye contact with at the bar and felt obligated to feign interest in what these otherwise random people are doing with their lives.

There were some notable exceptions. On several occasions I had surprisingly intelligent conversation with a few kids that I really didn't hang out with much in school, people whom I had no ill will for then but I assumed wouldn't really care to see me now. It also was interesting to note that during school I remember having somewhat of a heightened interest in these people, somehow knew that they were a little different, but still went along without much further action. ...

Einstien was WAY AHEAD of his time

GPS and Relativity: "People often ask me 'What good is Relativity?' It is a commonplace to think of Relativity as an abstract and highly arcane mathematical theory that has no consequences for everyday life. This is in fact far from the truth."

get it... AHEAD OF his TIME? har har. Oh wait you still don't get it. Go back and read the article again.

For the ADD News junkie

Check this sh!t out. Go to CNET's Beta News Site and check out the news web in the lower right corner. It draws a web of related news stories and topics so you can cruise from one peripherally-related news story to the next. I spent about 2 hours last night doing this. Schweet.

Deep-re(ce)ssion

I don't know if it's the longer nights in general or the one long night on Saturday but damn am I bummed out. Maybe it's the fact I'm broke right now, my room is a mess, or that my car has three mysterious dents on the roof that showed up suddenly.

Or perhaps because I don't feel appreciated by my boss and even though I bust my ass and am very good at what I do I still feel like I could get fired.

I am the only one who has struck out so far on our softball team.

My turntables are giving me fits because the beats won't stay lined up.

I could go on. and. on.

But I did have an amazing weekend. Such great people and so much fun. I should feel bettter, I am blessed to have such a great group of friends and to have met so many good people recently. And that I know you.

See I do feel bettter. Thank you for listening, friend.

Sunset on sum-ner

Where oh where did the summer go? Last summer was full of memories and good times, this year not so much. Seems like all I did was work, sleep and kickball. Not that kickball wasn't memorable. I just don't feel like I have DONE summer this year.

I hope this is not the harbinger of years to come, as I age, the seasons fly by faster and faster. Yet I know this to be true - each season occupies a smaller fraction of my collective experience than the last, each year shorter in relation to the last.

I do long for the days of my childhood, each season seeming so eternal that the next was welcome before it arrived, seemingly long overdue.

However I must embrace this trend of age, learn to enjoy the quickening passing of the seaons rather than yearing for what is no longer. How oh how, what pleasure is there in the quickening wheel, when each day/season/year seems gone before I can feel closure?

Ever seen Terminator 2?

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | US robot builds copies of itself

equi-knocks

quietly celebrating the first day this year that is longer than the night it follows. yay! spring is upon us.

what I would do if I had lots and lots of free time

UCSC Engineering Building Gets an 8bit Upgrade: "Super Mario
3x3 Post-it on glass
4 floors x 1 window
E2 Building UCSC"

what I would do if I had 30 million dollars

Grounded: Millionaire John Gilmore stays close to home while making a point about privacy: "Gilmore, who learned to argue on the debate team in his hometown of Bradford, McKean County, has started an argument that, should it reach its intended target, the U.S. Supreme Court, would turn the rules of national security on end, reach deep into the tug-of-war between private rights and public safety, and play havoc with the Department of Homeland Security."

Nomaddork

so i realized that I'm not
really
a
nomad
at
all.

in my head i am all over the place.
really.
but i have a
desk
job.

i've never lived outside of colorado.
i'm an aiesecer through and through
though

i think i have a better world perspective than many around me.
but do i?

do i
belong
here?

Firefox is the shizzznit

I have recently discovered what a web broswer could be and it is Firefox. Get it and be happy.

best blog

lauren is all set to sparkle.: "wins his last battle against his greatest culinary nemesis, and dies victoriously."

If you don't regularly visit lauren's blog, you should. i have serious blog envy.

Daylight Savorings

Only six weeks since winter solstice, I innately sense the lengthening days. For some reason this year I feel a deep connection to my ancestral instinct. For tens of thousands of years, my ancestors used only this - combined with the interpretation of the moon and stars - to know when to sow, when to harvest. Nomadic animals and tribes innately are attuned to the gradual rising of the sun's arc across the sky, instinctively migrating along ancient unmarked patterns refined over countless years.

For me, all this means is a little more warmth on my face as I wake in the morning, and leaving work while there is a sliver of daylight left in the dark sky.

Maybe the millennia of conditioning by my ancestors manifests itself as 'spring fever.' The urge to reconnect with nature. I would like to reach down and feel the earth, but all I can find is asphalt and concrete.

For now, my solace is knowing that the days will only get longer.

Automatic Acronyms!

K	Kind
E	Exhausting
V	Valiant
I	Innocent
N	Neat

Website of the moment

Thanks Mazzy for turning me on to this free online encyclopedia.

Snowball

So it seems that every day there are several new Nomad bloggers. This is great! however I am finding it more difficult to keep up with all the little side-conversations. Who are these people? (a-la Seinfend)

MUSIC

I belive that electronic music is the common musical denominator among today's youth around the world. Maybe a little visionary but I belive strongly in the culture-spanning appeal of electronic music. I think it is a force that can bring together people and cultures that otherwise think they have little in common. Actually right now I am listening to a DJ from the UK (John Digweed) play for a packed club in Beirut. I truly belive music can be the great common thread among our disparate cultures.

HOLY SH*T ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Subject: Trip to India!
From: "Dhanur"
Date: Fri, January 14, 2005 4:02 am
To: kevin@zolitor.com, "Scott Lehmann"

Hey Kevin,

Im sure Scott told you about me. I wanted to follow up with you to see how
you were placed in August this year.

Also wanted to know if a trip to India sounded interesting?! From what Scott
tells me, you could be a huge plus to the conference. Do let me know and we
could talk more about it.

Cheers

Dhanur.
__________________________________

Dhanur Grandhi
Congress Committee President
AIESEC International Congress 2005

Email : dhanurg@in.aiesec.org
Phone : +91 22 25188094/95
Mobile : +91 98 20059472
Web : www.in.aiesec.org

Tomorrow¹s Leaders ... Today!
__________________________________




DJ Kevin may be rocking it global style at IC 2005!!!

Agra, anyone?

Mazzy

I have been scanning various feedback from WSC. It warms me to see how many people were positively impacted by the conference. In my experience that really is nothing new - conferences are almost always intense, motivating experiences.

However, one thing stands out for me. It is the overwhelming amount of people who list Mazzy as the one element of the conference that really energized and inspired them. At previous conferences, sometimes it was the speakers, sometimes the sessions, sometimes other things that they remember and recant.

This time almost all of the feedback I see is about Mazzy. And for good reason.

I too was genuienly energized and inspired by her. Her unique spirit and tireless enthusiasm kept the energy of the conference moving from start to finish. The spontaneous tribute paid to her by the delegation at closing ceremony was genuinely deserved and is one of my favorite AIESEC moments ever.

I wish her continued prosperity and reward in her future endeavours and I feel truly blessed to have experienced her unique spirit firsthand.

That's Billion with a B

China today commemorated the birth of it's 1,300,000,000 citizen. It 'celebrated' the fact that it's birth control policy has prevented the birth of 2,000,000 people.

...

I'm still trying to wrap my head around these numbers.